Its only been 24 hours. but its starting to feel much better.

Today I nearly broke down in tears. Not coz of you. But coz of all that love from everyone.

Thank you. thank you so much, guys. I guess yesterday i needed so much from all of you that I didn't even think about what you all had to do. But you all came. just for me. Thank you so much.

And yes. I'm looking forward to Private Function I on Sunday. Just us. =)

-lu

.xoop.

Hey Beck/Bern/Rach/Elf/Aims/the people from Melb (you know who you all are)..thank you so much for being there the past few days.

"Yea, I may have lost somebody. But I found out I have really.good.friends."

I don't believe I cannot figure this out.

-lu

"Look inside your heart. and learn to push that switch. that switch that refuses to stay where you want it to. that switch that gives you that feeling like you want to scream out loud and just do anything you can to hold it there. Find it within yourself to do it, and when you can; you've let go."

I don't want to tell you about it because i don't even know how to. its just hard to deal with the fact that your not going to be there everytime i pick up the phone to msg u, or everytime i feel like i just want to lie in bed and talk, or everytime i turn around and your there talking gibberish. its hard for me to say it, but i really do miss the times when we could do that knowing that nobody else's opinions would matter.

but as much as it sucks, you being happy means alot more to me than all those. so go. enjoy yourself. but come back to me when its all over, okay?

-lu

.no, i'm not in love.

its funny how u realise that as much as one scoffs at others, you don't know how to deal with a certain situation when it actually hits u.

yea. i don't know how to deal with this. its warped. like there's something uneasy about the whole thing but i don't know what and i don't know how to deal with it.

maybe its coz i don't like sharing things that mean alot to me; or tt i don't like changes. or maybe its His way of telling me not to take people for granted. but either way its not easy. and i don't like dealing with emo stuff.

i guess e one thing i need to learn is to freaking let go. its really not that hard, lu. you just have to slowly open your hand.

i guess sometimes as much as i hate letting people get too close, i hate looking at the footprints they leave behind when their gone too.

Ah. Whatever. I don't know anything anymore.

-lu

nope. after 21 years, i still won't beg for help.

and the fact that you couldn't see that makes it all the more disappointing. but i don't want to argue with you. if you think you're right, then you're right. I won't ask for your help again.

.doorstep.

"ready on the left, ready on the right, locked and loaded"

So this is it. last one for the year. its so fast how the year just flies by like that, huh? and knowing that your at home waiting for me makes it so much sweeter. =)

"we'll spend evenings sitting next to each other;
and just talk about anything we want to.
and even though we both have millions of people in our lives,
i want to feel like i'm the only one who matters to you in that hour or two."

took it right out of my mouth, dear girl.

i'm coming home to you. =)

-lu